ne-deja-vu

This isn’t so much about New Years’ Resolutions, as it is about the state of dissatisfaction or restlessness you might find yourself in.  There’s nothing much too horrible to complain about. No major dramas playing out in between the alarm clock and dinner menus. There is just that kind of, what if? Or, just a feeling you want to blow out the hum-drums.

I’m guessing most of us experience this at least a couple times a year.  This is one of my times.  Actually, this time of year, is usually my time. As well as the predictable ‘after holiday’ let down, and the New Year nostalgia, I soon follow with yet another birthday. I don’t get depressed or have manic mood swings or anything, but I get that restless urge to get up, get out and do something.

This year is bringing about a few more milestones, as we are drawing closer to that ‘empty nest’, however, that isn’t necessarily what’s got me ancy.

In the last few months, I’ve been expressing myself more creatively in many different areas, and I like it.  But something’s missing. It’s the feeling there’s something on the tip of my tongue and you can’t quite think of IT.  Plain and simple, I’m “on the verge”. It’s just a little piece of glue that will bring it all together.  Right now, it’s scattered and in pieces.

It’s about to drive me batty!  Usually, I can pinpoint what it is that’s inhibiting me.  Either I need some peace and quiet, with no distractions to think, or I need to be really busy to prevent me from thinking.  One way or the other, it usually comes.   Usually, is when I  have exhausted myself for the night, lay down and just fall to s....oh that’s it!

Well, it ain’t workin’.  My muse is on the fritz or on vacation.  So, I’m looking for a temp.

So, I’ve just about exhausted my brain for the day.  Maybe, I’ll have one of those beautifully detailed, vivid dreams I sometimes have. Then I have to jump up, run in and write everything down as fast as I can before it fades. Or I’ll find the missing puzzle piece under the sofa.

Okay, goodnight all.  And just remember, “You can’t find the answer to your dreams if you’re not looking for it!”